A Safe Place to Breathe

He came to Canada carrying a hope so many of us take for granted: the hope of waking up without fear.

He is a gay man in his 20s. For years, he lived in limbo, displaced, trying to survive, trying to stay invisible enough to stay safe. He spent nearly a decade in South Asia as a refugee, doing what refugees everywhere do: waiting, working, and holding on. At times, the future felt like a door that would never open.

And then, somehow, it did.

He arrived in Canada through a private sponsorship arrangement that was not through MCC Toronto. While MCC Toronto is a Sponsorship Agreement Holder (SAH), we were not his SAH and we did not sponsor him or arrange his sponsorship. He arrived grateful, relieved, and ready to begin again. He believed that safety would mean more than geography. He believed it would mean he could finally be himself.

But the home he arrived into is not affirming of who he is.

Private sponsorship can be life-changing. Many sponsors genuinely want to help. But sponsorship can also create a difficult power imbalance: a newcomer’s housing and stability can become tied to keeping the peace, staying agreeable, and avoiding anything that might “cause problems.” For LGBTQ2S+ newcomers, that can mean feeling pressure to hide the very thing they were hoping would finally be safe to name.

Right now, he is living with sponsors who do not affirm his LGBTQ2S+ identity. He is not being physically harmed, but he is living in a space where he has to monitor his words, soften his truth, and move through his days carefully.

It shows up in small, constant ways. He second-guesses what he says on the phone. He avoids talking about friendships or community. He worries about being asked questions he can’t safely answer. He measures every conversation. He learns how to make himself smaller, quieter, easier, because “home” feels conditional.

A place where he cannot fully exhale.

And as painful as it is to say, this is not rare. For LGBTQ2S+ newcomers, the journey does not always end at arrival. Sometimes the danger doesn’t vanish, it changes shape. Sometimes it becomes silence, shame, restriction, and the quiet pressure to disappear again just to keep housing and stability.

This is why LGBTQ2S+-affirming support matters after arrival: not just paperwork and logistics, but real safety. Safety that includes being able to breathe, speak, and exist without fear of consequences.

MCC Toronto’s LGBTQ+ Refugee Programs are working to help him find a safer, LGBTQ2S+-affirming living situation and a supportive community around him.

If you have any leads, contacts, ideas, or referrals that could help in any way, whether it is housing options, community connections, practical supports, or people and organizations we should reach out to, please connect with us using the link below. And if you do not have a specific lead right now, please hold him, and others facing situations like this, in your thoughts and prayers. That matters too.

If you want to know more Contact us here

Categorized in: At our Gate